What is domestic violence counselling?

Domestic violence inflicts immeasurable and long-term suffering on survivors. It’s not just physical violence but refers to a range of abusive behaviour – often recurring and progressing in severity – that seeks to control or dominate through fear.

Domestic violence can affect anyone, anytime, anywhere; regardless of culture, sexuality, or gender identity – though, it tends to be perpetrated by male partners, from a current or past relationship, and towards women.

Domestic violence counselling provides survivors of violence with tools to manage or exit a relationship, as well as deal with the consequences of a past relationship. This includes empowering survivors to:

• Understand the choices available and take charge of decisions
• Repair self-esteem
• Regain trust in healthy relationships
• Navigate the warning signs of domestic violence
• Assess and respond to danger
• Gain information and access to community support services

Domestic violence counselling helps perpetrators of violence learn healthy ways to express themselves and manage their emotions. This includes empowering perpetrators to.

• Understand the choices available and take charge of decisions
• Acknowledge destructive behaviours
• Understand the damage to their relationship, themselves, and spectators
• Understand their capacity to let go of violent patterns
• Practice healthy behaviours patterns

If you’re unsure that you’re experiencing domestic violence, a qualified counsellor can help you clarify what’s happening in your current relationship, or what happened in the past.

Who is affected by domestic violence?

Domestic violence can occur in any relationship. You don’t have to live with someone to experience domestic violence. It can affect you even if you have left the relationship.

• Present and past intimate partners
• Carers
• Parents and guardians
• Relatives
• Siblings
• Culturally recognised family groups

Domestic violence can be perpetrated by women towards men; by strangers, regardless of their gender; and towards the elderly, or people with a disability. Most domestic violence, however, is perpetrated by men against women and children. As of 2016, 2.2 million Australians had suffered physical or sexual assault from a partner (1 in 6 women and 1 in 16 men), and 3.6 million had suffered emotional abuse (25 per cent of women and 5 per cent of men).

People in lesbian, gay, or queer relationships experience domestic violence as often as cisgender women in heterosexual relationships. And people with LGBTIQ identities experience domestic violence as often as people with heterosexual identities.

For Australian women, domestic violence is the primary driver of homelessness – and homeless people are especially vulnerable, with 42 per cent of clients to specialist homelessness services experiencing domestic violence.

Domestic violence affects people of all ages. In 2019-20, 36 per cent of survivors were below 18 years old, whereas elder abuse hotlines received 30 calls every day in 2017-18.

People with a disability experience higher rates of emotional abuse (1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men). Indigenous Australians were hospitalised for domestic violence at 32 times the rate of non-Indigenous Australians in 2016-17.

There is little variance in rates of domestic violence according to economic status – domestic violence occurs in middle- and high-income households. The numbers only tell part of the story – many survivors of domestic violence choose not to report their experiences.

What are the types of domestic violence?

• Physical Abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Verbal or Emotional Abuse
• Controlling Behaviour
• Stalking
• Financial abuse

What are the signs of domestic violence?

Survivors of domestic violence may have repeated physical injuries like bruises, scratches, or burns. They might conceal their injuries or not provide logical explanations for them. But physical abuse is just one type of domestic violence. Other types of domestic violence can be harder to spot, but there are signs to look out for:

• They seem more quiet than usual or have lost confidence
• They seem afraid
• They blame themselves
• They have stopped seeing friends or family
• Their partner or family member controls their decisions, or humiliates them in front of others
• They say their partner or family member controls their money
• They say their partner is extremely jealous
• They say their partner or family member forces unwanted sexual acts

Life Supports family violence counsellors and psychologists

We empower survivors of violence to understand the choices available, repair their confidence, and regain trust in healthy relationships. Even if you feel unsure that what you’re experiencing is domestic violence, speaking to a qualified counsellor can help clarify what’s happening in your current relationship, or what happened in a past relationship. We also provide relationship and family counselling.

Supportive Domestic violence services in Australia

If you are experiencing domestic violence in any form, there are services to support you.

Services Australia is a national organisation that helps you access financial aid, local support, legal aid, and housing services. There are many other support services to help you:

Help Lines:

1800RESPECT is a free domestic violence counselling service open 24 hours, 7 days a week.
P: 1800 737 732

Its app Daisy, available on Google Play and the App Store, connects people to local services, including financial, legal, housing and children’s services.

Kids Helpline is a free counselling service for people aged 5 to 25.
P: 1800 551 800

Lifeline is a free counselling service that helps people experiencing domestic violence.
P: 131 114

Family Relationship Advice assists with family issues, including separation and domestic violence.
P: 1800 050 321

The Elder Abuse Help Line provides free information and support. The Service Finder can help you find services in your area
P: 1800 353 374

Compass provides information on elder abuse and can help you find local support services.
website: https://www.compass.info/

Women with disability
Sunny, available on Google Play and the App Store, is an app made by women with a disability for women with a disability.

MensLine Australia provides support to both survivors and perpetrators of violence perpetrators, online and over the phone
P: 1300 789 978.

Men’s Referral Service is a free counselling and referral service to help men stop using violence, available online at the No to Violence website and over the phone.
P: 1300 766 491

Financial Aid
Money Smart helps people regain financial control. It provides information on divorce and separation and urgent money help.

Financial Counselling Australia offers free financial counselling to help people experiencing domestic violence.
P: 1800 007 007.